2014 MLB Season Preview

We have good news and bad news for Cubs fans. The good news: Next year is almost here! The bad: Pretty soon, it will be this year and next year will be approximately 365 days away.

Following is our 2014 Season Preview with a look at all 30 teams. It’s broken down by a division per page, click the page numbers at the bottom to see the rest. All 30 MLB teams are covered, from the World Champion Red Sox to the “would be lucky to be considered a triple-A team” Astros.

American League East

The Red Sox‘ strategy of saving money on razors & shaving cream and spending that money on quality players & coaches paid off nicely last year. This season, they’re cutting back on soap & deodorant. It should help get them back to the postseason, if only because opponents will often become disorientated by the odor.

The Rays may be the loosest team in baseball thanks to manager Joe Maddon. He has put on quite show this spring with his Allen Iverson impersonation and his skills as a sandwich artist, preparing subs for a team lunch. He is also an accomplished juggler, as evidenced by the handling of his pitching staff in their final game last season.

“We talkin’ bout: TOMATOES? Uh yes actually, we are. Lots of tomatoes. Tomatoes for all.”

Orioles slugger Chris Davis is likely to hit 50 home runs for the second consecutive season. Making the feat even more impressive is the fact that he will have done so without the advantage of being able to hit off Baltimore pitching or without any performance enhanc…well at least he did it without facing Baltimore pitching.

It’s been a rough month for evil empires. First, Russia was kicked out of the G8 and now the Yankees have been displaced as the top spending team in baseball. We have heard rumors that Hal Steinbrenner is very displeased with this news and is considering invading and annexing the Tampa Bay Rays.

Last year, the Blue Jays were like Rogue of the X-Men – they seemed to absorb the abilities of a team they traded with. Unfortunately for them, that team was the Marlins. This offseason, their most recent trades were with the Angels and Phillies. Yikes! One could probably call that an improvement, but probably not enough to close the gap on 4th place.

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