49ers acquire QB Blaine Gabbert from Jaguars for McDonalds coupon

A lot of big names have been placed on the NFL trade block of late: Chris Johnson. Steve Smith. Julius Peppers. Darrelle Revis (pretty good team, those 4 alone could probably beat the Raiders or Jags). So naturally, the one player that actually gets traded is…Blaine Gabbert? The Jaguars actually found a sucker team to take Gabbert off their hands. Early reports said it was for a 6th round pick. Turns out it wasn’t nearly that much.

“A 6th round pick for BLAINE GABBERT? Do I look insane to you?” asked 49ers GM Trent Baalke. “I wouldn’t give up a 60th round pick for him. I was digging through my wallet and I found this coupon for a free coffee at McDonalds and they immediately said yes before I could even tell them I think it’s expired. They were so ecstatic about the deal they had him in my office here literally 30 seconds later. I wonder how they did that, Shad khan must have secret mustache powers or something.”

The coupon the Jags got. It ain’t much, but at least it’s something. Even if it’s expired.

What does Colin Kaepernick think about Gabbert potentially competing with him? “Go ahead and tell everybody I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man,” said Kaepernick. He then threw his beats headphones on and walked off. Guess he’s confident about holding onto his job.

Colin doesn’t seem phased by any potential competition

In Jacksonville you’d think they won the Super Bowl.

“Hahahaha I can’t believe someone actually traded for him…are you kidding me? WOW. That’s embarrassing,” said Beverly Gabbert, Blaine’s mom.

“If he ever has to play, good luck Frank Gore…you’ll need it. Well that, and Jesus,” said Jaguars RB Maurice Jones-Drew.

“I tried trading him for a 7th round pick in my Madden franchise and the game laughed at me. Finally we get to do the laughing,” said an anonymous Jaguar fan who refused to reveal his name fearing his friends and family would find out he’s a Jaguar fan.

Jacksonville was pretty excited after pulling off the big trade

So the Blaine Gabbert deal may have not been a very big deal to you, but it was a very big deal to Jacksonville. Can you blame them? They actually got something out of someone they drafted. And when’s the last time that happened?

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