After losing 92-31, Rutgers folds their basketball program


92 to 31. You see a score like that and you’d think a high school girl’s team like the Philadelphia 76ers took on an NBA team or some blind and deaf kid tried playing NBA2K14 online (We’d say a college basketball game, but there isn’t one. EA Sports strikes again.). But no, it was a real men’s team. We think. Rutgers took on Louisville, and ended up looking like a mosquito does when they hit the windshield of cars going 85 mph on the interstate. See below for a visual approximation.


Louisville man picks off pieces of Rutgers left on his windshield

Don’t you hate when you get Rutgers on your windshield and it won’t come off? The worst.

But naturally there are consequences from such a disaster, and they came fast as the points did for Louisville on the scoreboard. Less than an hour after her team had a literal bus run over them, Rutgers AD Julie Hermann decided enough was enough and decided to fold the basketball program permanently. Women’s too.


There’s no recovering from this.

Hermann released a statement:

“After losing 92-31, we very clearly do not belong on a basketball court. My son’s team could’ve put up a better performance and he’s 7 years old. Mike Rice didn’t abuse this pathetic team as badly as Louisville did.  I’m sure he had it on at Average Joe’s ( laughing his ass off.

But clearly we don’t belong anywhere even near a basketball court or even watching basketball highlights. As a result, the men’s and women’s programs have been permanently shut down and we are never to have any association with basketball or speak of this day ever again.”


Mike Rice in action…even this wasn’t as bad as what Louisville did to Rutgers

(GIF via @LSUfreek)

What did the B1G think about this decision?

“Thank God,” said a Big Ten spokesperson. “Our games are low scoring enough as it is, we don’t need one of our teams finishing a game with 2 points. I’m not even sure they could get 2.”

Will Rutgers or the police pursue charges against Louisville for what they did? That remains to be seen. Meanwhile, Rutgers can focus on a sport where they can score 7 points at once. Although considering they went 6-6 against the likes SMU, Temple, and South Florida, don’t be surprised if you see another 92-31 score when they take on Ohio State. Maybe these kinds of sports are a little too much for them. Perhaps underwater basketweaving would be more their speed.


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