What has happened since Derrick Rose last played?


What all has happened in sports since Derrick Rose last played in a game? Quite a bit, actually. It’s like he left the planet for a couple centuries (which now that we’ve said that, will probably be next on his rehab plan). The list below is just a taste. It’s getting pretty long (that’s what she said).


Jason Kidd: Played for 2 teams, was arrested, retired, became a head coach, plead guilty to DUI. He’s been busy. He may also get fired before you finish reading this.

Dwight Howard: Played for 2 teams, changed his mind 574,834 times (yes, that’s accurate) and then joined a 3rd, put us through 2 Decision-type events (TWO. At least they aren’t televised. Or involve Jim Gray. But man. Two of them.)

Allen Iverson: Finally got a job…at McDonalds (

LeBron James: Has won 2 rings (there were LeBron no ring jokes when Rose last played. it’s been THAT long.), 2 MVPs, 2 Finals MVPs, and a gold medal

Tracy McGrady: Played in China, came back and played in the NBA Finals. TRACY MCGRADY. In the FINALS. (arguably the most unbelievable on here)

Danny Green: Exploded on the scene in the 2013 Finals, went missing before Game 6, has not been seen or heard from since (we may need an amber alert here)

Hornets: Changed names to Pelicans (yes, there’s an NBA team named Pelicans, even we couldn’t come up with a name that ridiculous)

Bobcats: Eliminated from the playoffs twice (during the 2012-13 season, and when the 2013-14 schedule was released:, changed names back to the Hornets (it’s effective in 2014, so if Derrick bites his lip again you may see them suit up before Rose returns)

Lakers: Created a “super team” and got swept in the first round. Have had 2 head coaches, and crazily turned down by far the best one, which would’ve been a 3rd.

Kings: Almost moved to Anaheim, almost moved to Seattle, stayed in Sacramento, almost moved to Iceland (

Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett: All left the Celtics, Allen has won another ring

Greg Oden: Returned from every injury known to man, then tore his ACL signing his contract with the Heat (

Iman Shumpert: Recovered from a torn ACL (from the same exact day as Rose) and then did this in the 2013 playoffs:

[youtube id=”uirM5sljfO8″ width=”620″ height=”360″]

Miguel Cabrera: Won the first batting triple crown in 45 years, is in contention for another one

Prince Fielder: Ate, ate, ate, ate, ate, ate, and ate some more. And ate again. May have never actually stopped eating.

Brandon Inge: Became first player to be retroactively be named NL MVP when he was playing for an AL team (

Homer Bailey: Threw 2 no-hitters for the Reds (that’s more than the San Diego Padres have had in team history)

Ryan Braun: Lied, lied, lied, lied, lied…until he was cornered. Then “came clean” by admitting he “made mistakes.” (as opposed to, you know, coming clean) Then was suspended 65 games.

Alex Rodriguez: Returned from a laundry list of injuries, was suspended 211 games for a similar crime as the crime Braun committed (too bad he’s not a Brewer), kept playing

Derek Jeter: Placed on the DL three times, re-activated twice (you know he’ll make it back a third time)

Matt Kemp: Placed on the DL three times, re-activated twice (you know he’ll also make it back a third time)

Manny Ramirez: Left the Oakland A’s for Taiwan, came back and signed with the Rangers (yes it’s a minor league deal and he may never get promoted, but still)

Yasiel Puig: Won rookie of the year, both league MVPs, both Cy Youngs, and a World Series MVP (hint: this one may not be real, although with his pace it could be)

Carlos Marmol: Traded, rescinded, traded again, DFAed or placed on waivers by 2 teams (this will go up if some other crazy team/dept store wants him for some reason)


(see the next page for NFL, NHL, college)


  1. Talal Jawaid


    The Kings almost moved to Anaheim, then Seattle, then were bought by a new owner to keep in Sacramento.

    • NOTSCWill


      Added to the list along with one thing about the Kings you might’ve missed…thanks!

  2. JCal


    A triple crown was won more recently than Derrick Rose played.

    • NOTSCWill


      Added to the list…thanks!

  3. Tyler Dossabhoy


    Titus Young got arrest 3,000 times. and

  4. Nick


    Dwight only played for 1 team. Rose played in the playoffs in 2012, while Howard did not. After that, Howard moved to LAL.

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