Atlantic Division considering merging into one D-League Team


According to several well placed sources within the Atlantic Division, there’s a growing movement to break the traditional, five franchise structure and consolidate into one unit that is expected to compete for a possible playoff spot in the NBA Developmental League.

Here’s a demonstration of why:


(GIF via @SBNationGIF)

That’s Kevin Garnett getting burned by an old out of shape white guy from the New York YMCA. Ouch.

Currently, the 8-12 “we’re tanking for Wiggins and we don’t care if you know it” Boston Celtics are running away with the Atlantic Division lead, however few people around the league believe they’d be able to contend for even one possession against a “real” opponent, such as those found anywhere outside the Atlantic Division. “Those guys would get murdered in the playoffs,” Celtics forward Kris Humphries told reporters. “What’s the point? And yes, I know I play for that team. Don’t remind me.”

The idea is simple, take the best players from each team and form a single, semi-terrible unit. “Semi-terrible would be an excellent achievement for all of us,” Nets head coach Jason Kidd said, stumbling around with what appeared to be a coke with ice with a little something extra for flavor. He whispered to a nearby Tyshawn Taylor: “Hey Tyshawn: hit me.” He then continued: “I really thin…oh no!” Kidd then spilled his drink all over the floor and was escorted out of the room while his latest mess was cleaned.

But imagine a starting unit of Brook Lopez, Tyler Hansbrough, Evan Turner, Amar’e Stoudemire and Avery Bradley. “That team could definitely compete with the winless Reno Big Horns or the Tulsa 66ers,” a league executive said. “The great part,” Knicks guard JR Smith told the media, “is that all the players that excel this league eventually get promoted into the NBA. A dude score 50 on me, then never have to face him again. Plus I can spend the night at the club and no one will bitch. Y’all don’t drug test, right?”

This works out for everybody. The Atlantic is happy because they get to take their tanking talents to a place that is appreciated, and NBA fans are happy. Reports say the NBA is looking into either the Heat and Pacers playing a best of 7 series series (where the winner of 4 series of best of 7 games makes the Finals) or just having 9-14 from the West filled the other Eastern Conference spots. This way the East might actually be mildly competitive, and Miami might have to actually lift a finger before the Finals. Uh oh.

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