REPORT: Bobcats changing back to their old name

By NOTSCWill
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Updated: May 18, 2013

According to media reports, the Charlotte Bobcats are changing their name back to their old name. Not the Charlotte Hornets, but the Charlotte High School Junior Varsity Practice Squad. They figure it’s time to stop hiding that fact that they converted a high school JV practice squad into an NBA team when the old Hornets originally moved to New Orleans. They also hope they’ll now be able to play against high school competition again and actually have a chance at winning.

Bobcats owner Michael Jordan: “You all gave me so much crap for building a high school caliber team. Now I can finally stop hiding the fact that that is actually what I did. You didn’t really think I drafted Adam Morrison to play on an NBA team did you? Come on now, I’m not THAT stupid. Yes, I drafted Kwame Brown in Washington…but that was because i lost a bet when I was drunk. This was business. I thought playing in a league way over their heads for a few years would help them crush the high school level.”

So turns out Michael Jordan may not be as dumb as some of you might have thought. But what about the Hornets? Won’t the people of Charlotte be disappointed when they learn the Hornets aren’t actually coming back? A Charlotte resident said, “You kidding? We didn’t care when the team left, we didn’t care when they brought a new team in, why would we care now? Get this garbage off my TV and stop embarrassing my city. Cam Newton constantly crying is bad enough.” Ouch!

The sad part is the Bobcats are really gone. No more enormous losing streaks. No more losing by 60. No more getting eliminated from playoff contention 5 seconds after the season began. It’s going to take some time for NBA fans to recover from such a loss of a source of so much laughter. But lucky for them, there will be other great sources of laughter, especially the longer Mike D’Antoni continues to coach the Lakers. The Bobcats may be gone, but they will never be forgotten.