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Broncos QB Peyton Manning and his obsession with “Omaha”

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Omaha! Omaha! If you watched the Broncos defeat the Chargers, you heard this word a time or two. If you drank every time he said it, well you must either be reading this from a hospital bed or from beyond the grave. But what happens when he’s not on the field (for example: during the rest of the playoffs, after he’s lost)? Does he still say that word constantly? Absolutely. And as you’ll hear from a few various people, including some in the Manning family, it causes a lot of trouble in his day-to-day life both for him and the people he deals with.

“Trying to plan a trip with Peyton is an absolute nightmare,” says his wife Ashley. “While I’m trying to plan vacations to China, Italy, and other beautiful foreign countries, he keeps shouting at me: OMAHA! OMAHA! And I keep telling him that no one wants to go to Nebraska and see a bunch of corn fields and rednecks. But he doesn’t stop. A travel agent actually booked us for a non-refundable 3 week trip to Omaha, Nebraska because she got confused by Peyton’s non-stop yelling. Peyton was so excited when we got there he yelled himself into a seizure. That happened 12 more times while we were there. It was the worst vacation ever.”

Well, the city might not agree with Ashley thoughts, but certainly doesn’t mind Peyton’s obsession:

But it doesn’t stop there. “It’s a problem trying when we try to go out to eat as well,” Ashley said. “We were at a Japanese steakhouse one time and naturally, when it’s time to order, Peyton’s yelling OMAHA! OMAHA! They thought we wanted Omaha steak, so they had it custom delivered for us, because it’s Peyton of course. Dinner took 6 hours and Peyton was nearly stabbed by someone at our table because it took so long. It took 7 policemen to wrestle that guy down, while he yelled things like “I’d take that fruitcake Brady over you any day!” Between lawyer’s fees, delivery fees, and dinner we spent over $20,000 that night. Yeah. Omaha THIS, Peyton.”

Some drunk dial exes after they’ve been celebrating. Peyton does something different:

It isn’t just a problem for his wife either. “Trying to play cards with the guy is ridiculous,” said Peyton’s friend Tony. “All he ever wants to play of course: Omaha. And when we do play, he thinks he can change his cards every time he yells Omaha just like when he’s at the line of scrimmage changing a play. We keep telling him you only get 4 cards but no, what do we hear? OMAHA! OMAHA! So we just let him change cards until he’s happy. One time he had a royal flush playing Omaha 57 hands in a row. It’s a little hard to get a game together considering Peyton’s bankrupted damn near everyone in the state of Colorado thanks to his Omaha obsession.”

Family and friends have tried to get him to change, but it’s worked so well for him as a QB, they just can’t. “I’ve encouraged Eli to start using Omaha,” Peyton’s father Archie said. “But he doesn’t understand. All he yells is Yamaha, and now he owns 347 motorcycles because of it. Oh well, at least he’s got 2 rings.”

SadEli

Poor Eli, if only he could understand.

With football season winding down, you’d think Peyton would be sad. But he’s actually excited. Why? Soon, college baseball season will begin and his Tennessee Vols will compete for a chance to make the College World Series. And if they do, guess where Peyton Manning will be going this off-season? OMAHA!

2 Comments

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