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REPORT: After switching from 6 to 2, Terrelle Pryor can’t stop eating

TerrellePryor

Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor recently switched from 6 back to 2, his number from his (vacated) days, which former coach Hue Jackson wouldn’t let him wear. Dennis Allen couldn’t understand why, so he told him he could go ahead and switch. Unfortunately, this might not have been the greatest idea (a Raider making a bad decision? Imagine that.). According to a report, since switching to that jersey number, he can’t stop eating.

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Terrelle wearing the haunted jersey

“It’s like he’s possessed by an alien, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life,” said his teammate, Darren McFadden, “The team went out to dinner and he would order one entree, finish it in seconds, then order another. And another. And another. Some of the OL tried to keep up but he was simply too fast for them. He still can pull off a 4.3 40, only this time he finished 40 wings in 4.3 seconds. It was insane. After 7 hours we had to drag him out of there. It took 8 of us.”

As crazy as that sounds, it isn’t just the eating causing a problem. According to the report, he’s recently ordered 1,000 cases of codeine syrup. He claims he’s been really sick lately from how much he’s been eating, and just wants to be prepared. Officials from the Raiders are skeptical. Between the eating and the syrup, the team doesn’t know what to think. They feel as though they’ve seen signs of all of this before, they just can’t place their finger on where.

They should give JaMarcus Russell a call. Maybe he knows.

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