Dodgers Frolic In Syndey Harbor After Beating Australia


Picking up where they left off in 2013, the carefree Los Angeles Dodgers celebrated their 4-2 exhibition win over Team Australia by collectively jumping into the Sydney Harbor. As luck would have it, many members of the Arizona Diamondbacks organization were witness to the event while sightseeing during some downtime prior to their regular season opener versus L.A.

“Those bastards have completely ruined our Australia trip,” D-backs President Derrick Hall could be overheard saying. “Even on the flight over here, they horded first class all to themselves. It sounded like they were having a wild party. Every now and then, Puig would poke his head through the curtain and throw bags of peanuts at us. It hurt, both physically and emotionally.”

Dodgers third baseman Juan Uribe does not understand all the angst about their antics: “We’re all about having fun. Yes, we’re ambassadors for the United States and Major League Baseball, but we are ambassadors to Funkytown first and foremost.”  Uribe went on to compare himself and his teammates to Olympic athletes from the recent Sochi games: “We love being here and want to leave our mark on the international stage. I have personally been trying to adopt many of the stray dogs we have encountered on our trip.” It took locals nearly two hours to explain to Uribe that those dogs were actually koala bears.


Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has expressed outrage at the Dodgers behavior. He called a press conference to specifically to demonize Hollywood’s Harbingers of Hilarity for their festivities in the harbor: “This was a classless act by a group of childish, pompous, unsophisticated little babies. Those bloody wombats can bugger off!” During the meeting with reporters, a kangaroo hopped directly up to the Abbott. Dodgers pitcher Brian Wilson emerged from its pouch and flipped the Prime Minister off. The kangaroo then jumped on Wilson’s back and the bearded screwball sprinted off into the Outback.

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