Face of MLB Contest, Round 2


We are down to the Sickly Sixteen in our Face of MLB contest as voting opens in round 2. Below, you will see our 14 first round winners (accompanied by a refresher on why each are representing their teams) as well as be introduced to the faces of the two teams that received first round byes – the Cubs and the Red Sox. Let’s get the voting underway.

Cubs vs Nationals

Cubs: Pretty obvious: Steve Bartman. Now and forever.
Nationals: Why do some consider Bryce Harper the face of the Nationals? It’s not his playing style. It’s his hairstyle. That’s why the true face of the Nationals is his hairdresser, Zohan.
[socialpoll id=”2187100″]

Padres vs Pirates

Padres: Here is a look at the Padres’ best player the last time they were a successful franchise. They also had better uniforms back then.
Pirates: In 2013, this Cinderella team ended a 21 year playoff drought. As we enter the 2014 season, the face of the Pirates is naturally a clock about to strike midnight.
[socialpoll id=”2187101″]

Astros vs Rockies

Astros: The face of the Astros is none other than our 16th President of the United States Abraham Lincoln because here is the team’s payroll for 2014.
Rockies: Surviving a meme vs meme matchup in the first round, the face of the Rockies is Rocky Mountain high 10 guy.
[socialpoll id=”2187102″]

Twins vs Tigers

Twins: Like the Rockies before them, the face of the Twins represents their fans. Here we see one of them – we believe his name is Johnny – enjoying a July home game.
Tigers: Justin Verlander and Kate Upton are reportedly back together. That’s all the excuse we need to wedge an Upton picture into this contest.
[socialpoll id=”2187103″]

Red Sox vs Rangers

Red Sox: Not sure this needs much explanation, but the face of the World Champs is wolf man, who had slightly less facial hair than most Boston players as the World Series ended last year.
Rangers: Get used to it, Rangers fans. Trading for Prince Fielder comes at a price: the risk of a food shortage throughout Texas washed down with a flood of jokes about the first baseman’s weight. The face of the Rangers is his being stuffed with food.
[socialpoll id=”2187104″]

Braves vs Blue Jays

Braves: The Braves dominated the NL East consistently for over a decade and have just a single World Series title to show for it. They have done little to change the perception about them since. Therefore, the face of the Braves is that a choking victim.
Blue Jays: In a tip of the hat to South Park, Terrance and Phillip perfectly embody the face of the Blue Jays because 1) they are Canadian and 2) when we watch them, we hear fart noises.
[socialpoll id=”2187105″]

Dodgers vs Rays

Dodgers: They signed Clayton Kershaw to a massive contract. They tried to sign Masahiro Tanaka to a massive contract. They will inevitably sign Yasiel Puig to a massive contract. They are burning through money at a rate even The Joker is in awe of.
Rays: Hello, old friend. The face of the Rays is the face of the Rays’ one and only fan.
[socialpoll id=”2187106″]

Phillies vs Yankees

Phillies: The Phragile Phillies are so old and broken that Life Alert bracelets are now a mandatory part of their standard uniform.
Yankees: Make no mistake about it, Alex Rodriguez may not be in the Yankees dugout, but his dejected (or is it injected?) mug will remain the face of the franchise despite the season-long suspension.
[socialpoll id=”2187107″]

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