REPORT: Bucs QB Josh Freeman called Mark Sanchez for bench tips

The Bucs made the move even Stevie Wonder saw coming, benching Josh “I’m going to demand a trade with less leverage than Mark Sanchez” Freeman for Mike Glennon, whose most noteworthy accomplishment is being Sean Glennon’s brother (whose most noteworthy accomplishment was being on the Vikings roster for a few weeks). Why the move to Glennon? “Because he was the next in line. Didn’t matter who it was. It could’ve been 90 year old Brett Favre or even Tim Tebow. Seriously,” a Bucs source said.

He’s not kidding. Josh Freeman’s completion percentage this year is 45.7%, lower than Tebow’s career completion percentage of 47.9%. Now that’s sad. But now that Glennon is taking over as starter, Josh wants to do everything he can to now keep from losing his backup job too. So according to a report, he actually called Mark Sanchez to get tips on proper clipboard holding and bench sitting techniques. He really should’ve called Brady Quinn or Vince Young or Matt Leinart though. He can’t even get that right.

But Mark was just happy to get a call from anyone after his headband modeling career (http://notsportscenter.com/markheadband/) fizzled even faster than his career as a starting QB. Mark told him to keep his head up, constantly take notes on the clipboard about what not to do (Step 1: stop the INTs), do everything the coach asks (including those oh so annoying middle of the night runs to the border to pick him up some Taco Bell) and try to do a better job at celebrating with his teammates than he did here:

(GIF via @ErikMal)

“The key is enthusiasm,” Mark told Freeman. “It’s been tough for me because I won my job and i’ll get it when I’m healthy again. (Sure you will Mark, sure you will.) But as long as you’re enthusiastic about everything you do, everyone will love you. When your teammates are looking at you and laughing, they’re laughing with you, not at you. At least that’s what I was told. If you do all that, you’ll make a fine clipboard holder.” Poor Mark remains more clueless than Tim Tebow in a room filled with playboy playmates.

Can Freeman succeed in his new role? It remains to be seen. Our Bucs source told us, if any team comes to them with an offer of something off the dollar menu, Freeman’s out of there ASAP. Odds are, unless the staff in Cleveland starts drinking and trading again, that’s probably not happening anytime soon. So welcome to the bench club Josh, you’re making $6.44 million just to sit on a bench like an old man at a pond feeding ducks. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal.

Related Posts

• 
  Halloween NFL Logos: all 32 NFL logos if they were scary
• 
  Top 10 funniest GIFs and Vines from NFL Week 3
• 
  The funniest moments of the Bucs’ disaster at the Georgia dome

2 Comments

1. Pingback: Josh Freeman claimed off waivers by Taco Bell - NOTSportsCenter

2. Pingback: Josh Freeman diagnosed with “Mark Sanchez-like” symptoms - NOTSportsCenter