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GIF: Umpire Dramatically Expands Strike Zone For Yankees-Red Sox
- Updated: April 25, 2014

Even the umpires are tired of these excessively long and self-aggrandizing games between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox and the national media circle jerks that accompany them. With the pinstripers blowing out the home team, Sox manager John Farrell sent left fielder Mike Carp to the hill to toss up some knuckle balls – because apparently an arsenal of slower, more inaccurate pitches is just what these marathon games needs.
Well, home plate umpire Phil Cuzzi had had enough.

(GIF courtesy GIFULMINATION)
Sadly, the expanded strike zone still was not enough to keep Carp from dragging the game out by walking five batters in the 9th and forcing Boston fans to get that much more sober since beer sales ended following the 7th inning (and nothing bothers Boston fans more than getting sober).
There is good news for the Red Sox, however. The Toronto Blue Jays have offered to trade a wealth of talent for Carp in an effort to improve their bullpen with a pitcher that only walks five batters in an inning.