Josh Hamilton overdosing on Rangers Fan Hatred


ARLINGTON, TX – If jilted Texas Rangers fans were a drug, they would be the whippets of the sports world.  They’re relatively harmless and you generally don’t hear anyone talk about them.  Nonetheless, Josh Hamilton’s abuse of something has once again become a major story.  When the former Ranger center fielder made a reference to Dallas as more of a football town than a baseball town, KDFW, Dallas-Fort Worth’s news leader, aired the interview every night right after each episode of a five-part, ten-hour documentary on Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.

Hamilton tried to lessen the blow – an unusual approach given his history – of the impending vocal onslaught by bringing in thousands of Cardinals fans from St Louis to boo Albert Pujols.  Despite that, Rangers fans showered Hamilton with boos whenever he was announced and some also held up newspapers in front of them when he came up to bat to send him a message, though many of those seen with newspapers had them open to the sports section previewing the Cowboys draft later in the month.  When one such fan was approached, he stated, “What?  We’re going to use the newspapers to mock Josh Hamilton when he comes to the plate?  Sounds like a great idea.  When is he due up?”

Josh’s wife was also targeted by Rangers fans, prompting security to address local fans who were getting carried away in making ugly, inappropriate comments.  When asked of her expert opinion on this subject, pop singer and former Tony Romo girlfriend/distraction Jessica Simpson said, “Wow, Dallas really has become a baseball town.”

Hamilton struck out to boisterous cheers in his first two ABs en route to an 0-4 day while also playing a couple of balls in right field like Romo taking a snap on a field goal attempt.  After the game, he remained defiant.  “I’m not taking back what I said about this being a football town.  In fact, it’s also more of a rodeo town than a baseball town.”  Ironically, Hamilton was found hogtied in the one of the Rangers Ballpark urinals before game two of the series.

Rangers CEO Nolan Ryan announced that he would be the starting pitcher in the series finale in hopes Hamilton would charge the mound.  “When I’m done with Josh, Robin Ventura will look like William the Conqueror by comparison.”

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  1. Pingback: GIF: Pujols, Trout Troll Fernando Rodney’s Bow & Arrow Celebration - NOTSportsCenter

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