Thousands of Heat fans displaced after 2 game skid

By NOTNBATonight
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Updated: November 2, 2013

A crisis is forming among NBA fans all over the country who used to root for the Miami Heat prior to their current two game losing streak. Thousands upon thousands of men, women and children woke up this morning completely oblivious as to what new NBA franchise they should now support.

“It’s just so confusing,” Frank Callahan, a former long time, two year Heat fan, told reporters. “I mean it’s so early in the season, it’s not clear yet who the best of the best will be. Many of the records are similar. I just don’t know who to give my heart to as long as they remain the absolute best of the best with no chance of losing ever.”

Other fans aren’t taking the Heat’s second consecutive loss to the Brooklyn Nets Friday night so gracefully. John Lee, a Heat fan since last year’s championship, was still emotionally charged, “I mean how could you do this to us! LeBron! Chris! Dwyane! Why? Two losses in a row? What have we done to deserve this?” When asked when he realized his dedication to the Miami Heat had been lost, Lee answered, “Oh, without question, it was the moment LeBron turned the ball over once. I mean what was that? Am I right? Jeez.”

Brittney Moore, a member of the Delta Sigma Theta sorority at the University of Miami, had this to offer: “Oh my God, and I used to think Erik Spoelstra was hot.”

While the fans are feeling the pain and suffering of a devastating two game slide, there are others who will be affected financially. According to a source who works at the American Airlines Arena in Miami, there’s a major panic that they won’t be able to sell more than 200-300 tickets to the next Heat home game. “Nobody’s going to want to see these bums. Not that anybody came to regular season games anyway. Can I go to the beach now?”

Even LeBron James has his doubts about LeBron James. “Did you see when LeBron got rejected by the 36 year old Paul Pierce? (http://notsportscenter.com/pierceswatslbj/) What a scrub!” When LeBron was reminded that he, in fact, was LeBron James, he responded immediately, “No, I’m not. I’m Tim Duncan. Go Spurs.”