Heat Janitorial defeats the Bobcats, Joe the Plumber with a triple double


It was another long night at the stadium for the Bobcats, this time they took it to a whole new level. With all the people sitting out (LeBron, Wade, etc.) Miami’s Janitorial staff decided to play the game instead. And they still won easily, 89-79. Joe the Plumber even had a triple double: 26 points, 11 toilets plunged, 10 sinks unclogged. He had his most productive night since joining the staff after he left John McCain’s team in 2008.

Bobcats coach Mike Dunlap on Joe’s performance: “The guy was an utter machine. One second he was knocking down 20 foot jumpers, the next he was in the bathroom fixing toilet issues. Then he was back on the court. We never could pin him down. We’ll have to watch film this week on how to handle a guy that talented in the future.”

LeBron on Joe the Plumber’s performance: “Man if I had somebody like that in Cleveland, I probably would’ve never left. Oh who am I kidding, yes I would’ve. HA! I love you though Cleveland. Really, I do. You saw me half acknowledge that kid on the court. That took a lot for me to do. It’s not like I acknowledge just any old regular person.” As usual, LeBron’s a total sweetheart.

Little did anyone know, but Chris Bosh was actually playing with the janitorial team. No one pays attention to him, so no one even realized. Not even the guys on the court, they thought he was out trying to track those stolen purses from his house that were his “wife’s” purses. Yet Bosh still finished with 18 points, 8 rebounds. 6 assists. When literally no one knows you’re even there, that’s an impressive performance.

Needless to say the Bobcats always manage to impress. Whether it’s 7 wins in an entire year or losing to a janitorial staff, Michael Jordan’s squad always takes the losing to the next level. Don’t even say “they should play a WNBA team to see what happens” because you already know what’s going to happen. You think they can hang with those kinds of mad layup skills? Come on now.

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