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SOURCE: Dwight Howard’s son has demanded a trade to a new family

DwightHowardson

As the saying goes: like father, like son. Or in Dwight Howard’s case, like father, like 5 sons. Or 6. Or 8. Nobody’s sure how many kids he has (probably not even Dwight himself), but according to a well placed source, one of them has demanded a trade to a new family. Dwight Jr. isn’t exactly sure what Dwight can get back as part of a trade, but he doesn’t care.  He just wants out. He reportedly said he’d rather work in a sweatshop building Nike shoes than deal with his dad. We all would Dwight Jr, we all would.

Dwight Jr. reportedly told the source “I just can’t take his crap anymore. He cries more than my 4 year old sister…and he’s my DAD. Well not for long…I’m holding out until I get traded to a new family. I refuse to do any chores,  I don’t care how much money he offers me.” At least Dwight taught his son how to whine until he gets his way. Dwight reportedly offered Dwight Jr. a Ferrari to help change his mind, but Dwight Jr was not impressed, likely due to the fact that he’s 7 years old.

Like everything else, Dwight wasn’t sure what he should do to help change his son’s mind. Well he was sure, then he wasn’t. Then he was. Then he wasn’t. He reportedly sat for “days” thinking about what to give his son. Yes, days. How did he settle on giving a luxury sports car to his 7 year old son? Who knows. Remember this is a man who has been fooled by saying “eye yam stew peed” 4 times fast, and was bright enough to announce that to millions of people on twitter. He stew peed alright, he very stew peed.

Will Dwight Jr.’s demand work? Who knows. Based on family history with trade demands, Dwight Jr. will likely get traded from one Dwight Howard baby mama “family” to another Dwight Howard baby mama “family,” rather than where he actually wants. Then we can re-live it again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year after that, and the year…well you get the idea. The Dwightmare truly never ends.

 

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