I’m Coming Home: by the writer of NOT Baseball Tonight


Before anyone read my tweets, I was a simple reader. I enjoyed browsing Twitter for sports news and humor as much as the next sports-and-humor-loving individual. It’s where I retweeted. It’s where I favorited. It’s where I replied to tweets asking questions. It’s holds a time-consuming place in my heart. There was practically no pressure on me as a person or as a Twitter personality. But that has changed. My relationship with Twitter now is bigger than it has ever been. I didn’t realize that before I took over the (then) NOTSCNHL account. I do now.

Before joining NOTSC, I never had to deal with this.

Before joining NOTSC, I never had to deal with this.

Around the beginning of 2012, I started the NOTSCMLB account to help the main NOTSportsCenter page branch out to cover each league that we love. It was an easier time. Zero followers and an egg avatar defined me. When I left to cover the then vacant NOTSCNHL account in March 2013, I had built the account to 4,000 followers. Paltry in comparison to the main page, sure, but not bad in 14 month’s work. In the same amount of time, I took the NHL page to 9,000 followers from roughly 3,500. Sure, I had help from the previous writer, the main page, and a couple of celebrities, but I like to think I was doing pretty good.

I took over the NHL page because I am a hockey fan at heart. There is something about the game that calls to me. But I love baseball too. I will never forget my time as NHL writer. It will always be a second tweeting experience for me. I believe it helped me develop as a tweeter. It helped me test new joke methods. It introduced me to writing articles for this website. Without that experience, I wouldn’t be here.

I’m writing this as a parody of a famous essay by some basketball player who may or may not be good.

This dude approves my post.

This dude approves my post.

Since my departure, the new writer for MLB gained 15,000 followers. That is insane. I’m jealous, actually. But he has decided to give up the keys to the NOT Baseball Tonight page to focus on the website. This is a good move. His articles are part of the reason why NOTSC and it’s affiliates have exploded to the size they are. I wish him well.

Coming back wasn’t a difficult decision. After taking over the account a couple weeks ago while the previous writer went on vacation, I felt rejuvenated. My tweets were doing well. The jokes came easier. I was reminded why I started the account in the first place: To join the Boss in making a parody empire and having fun doing it.

I will not promise perfect tweets. That’s impossible. Nor will I promise to have Pulitzer-prize winning website posts. What I will do is resume my role as a provider of baseball tweets and website articles for your enjoyment. That is why I’m here: To entertain you.

I will never win one of these.

I will never win one of these.

Now that I have said what I needed to say, it’s time I say goodbye to NOT NHL Tonight, because I’m coming home. I am returning to NOT Baseball Tonight to pick up where I left off. If you are still reading this, you will be rewarded for your perseverance. You are now a member of the Houston Astros. On second thought, that’s not really a reward, isn’t it? Oh well, it’s out of my hands now. Report to AAA immediately.

The outside of the Astros' AAA stadium.

The outside of the Astros’ AAA stadium.

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