Predictions on how Indians fans will sound for the rest of 2013


Right now the Cleveland Indians are on fire…18-4 in their last 22 games, 26-17 overall before the games on May 21st. But, they’re about to play a stretch hosting the Tigers, at the Red Sox, at the Reds, home for the Rays, at the Yankees, at the Tigers, and at the Rangers. Reality isn’t just calling…it’s about to break down the door with a battering ram. So here’s what you can expect to hear Indians fans saying for the rest of 2013.


In May: We’re in first place baby! I love my Cleveland Windians…no one can stop us, not even Chris Perez!

In June: Come on, let’s get it together…this is just a little slump. We can turn it around! We swept the MARINERS, we should be crushing Boston, New York, Detroit, and Texas!

In July: Man, this is so frustrating…yes they’re in 3rd place now and lost 16 of 20, but this team is just a piece or two away. We trade for some help, we’ll be good to go. We can trade Jason Giambi for (ace pitcher/hot hitter on trade block), right? That’s a fair deal. Who cares if he’s 42? He’s JASON GIAMBI!

In August: WHAT THE HELL, why didn’t we trade for (star that got traded elsewhere)?? Those trades we made SUCK! I bet (CLE minor leaguer traded away) becomes a star! This team is driving me to drink.

In September: Ugh, 5th place. I hate this team. Why do I even watch the games? Oh well, maybe next year. (gets on phone) Yes, I’d like to re-new my season tickets please. Sure I’ll pay $50 extra per ticket. You’re moving me 10 rows back too? That’s fine. You want my first born son? I don’t have…yes i’ll go out and conceive one right away.

In October: We could’ve definitely beaten these playoff teams if we (something that wouldn’t have happened) instead of (thing that did happen). Cleveland is just cursed. At least we aren’t the Cubs. The Browns actually look half decent for a change, maybe they can hold it together.

In November: Man the Browns suck…I’d rather be watching the 2013 Indians than this garbage. It’s 3 months till pitchers and catchers, right? Can’t come fast enough.

In December: Well. The Browns are 4-10, the Cavs fired Mike Brown again, Kyrie Irving has demanded a trade. Thank God we’ve got the Indians.


So there you go, 2013 through the eyes of an Indians fan. Try to act surprised when it happens. And if you know an Indians fan, give ‘em a hug now. When they ask why, just say “You’ll need it later. Trust me.”


  1. Andrew



  2. AndreYoder



    Well screw you too guy….


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