SOURCE: Fathead of Joe Namath leads Jets starting QB competition


A surprising development has transpired early on in Jets camp: David Garrard has left camp after many assumed the job was basically his, despite not starting for years (it really doesn’t take much to be the Jets QB, as long as you can avoid running into your OLine’s ass and fumbling you’ve got a clear shot at the job). Why did he leave camp? Many are speculating that it’s because the team drafted Geno Smith. While that’s a reasonable thought, it’s not the case. And it’s not his health, either.

According to a well placed team source, it’s not any of the QBs on the roster. It’s Joe Namath. Not the actual Joe Namath (although at nearly 70 years of age he probably could, but he’d be too busy hunting down Suzy Kolber), but a Joe Namath Fathead. Yes a Fathead is in line to win the starting QB job of the New York Jets. You thought the circus was in town with Sanchez and Tebow last year, imagine if this vinyl wall graphic holds on to the job?

Rex Ryan on his current starting QB: “It’s great. The fathead does an amazing job with ball security. You stick the ball in its’ hands and it doesn’t go anywhere. It doesn’t throw into quadruple coverage. It doesn’t throw at a wide open WR and land 5 yards in front of him in the dirt. It doesn’t fumble. It just…stands there. It’s the quarterback of my dreams. I’ve already had Michelle get a tattoo of it on her feet. It’s by far the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” One thing that hasn’t changed: Rex is still a sick, sick man.

Admittedly when you watch Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow for so many years, you’re going to want ball security. That’s understandable. But what about a forward pass? Jets WR Stephen Hill: “Frankly I don’t even mind the new offense and how we’ll likely never throw a forward pass again. It gets exhausting chasing down so many interceptors. I felt like I was playing defense last year with Sanchez at QB. The opposing defense saw the ball more than I did. Now I can relax with some nice blocking duties.”

A WR that wants to block? Rex may have finally done something right. But what do the running backs think? New Jets RB Chris Ivory: “When I first got traded from New Orleans to this team I cringed. I cringed hard. But with the fathead at QB now I’m calling the shots. I can audible out of a pass mid-play to a run…all I gotta do is take the ball out of the thing’s hands. I mean we’re never gonna call a pass play, but still. How cool is that?” It’s definitely unusual, which is right up the Jets’ alley.

The team’s spirit certainly seems high for a team many expect to struggle in 2013. Either the Fathead is getting the team as drunk as the real Joe Namath would be, or everyone is really buying into this idea. One thing is for certain: with the Jets, you never know what’s going to happen. You could wake up tomorrow and they would be starting a woman at middle linebacker. Or an alien. Or a part woman/part alien. And at this point, would anyone really be surprised?


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  1. Pingback: Jets name random guy playing catch in parking lot starting QB - NOTSportsCenter

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