Josh Freeman claimed off waivers by Taco Bell


It’s been a long strange journey for Josh Freeman, and we’re not talking about just this year where he started 3 games and finished with a lower completion percentage than Tim Tebow has for his career. He was drafted in the first round in 2009 by the Bucs (don’t drink and draft kids), went 10-6 in first full season as starter in 2010 (aliens? yeah, we’ll go with that. aliens.), made the Pro Bowl (although Vince Young did twice, so that’s not saying much…no wonder they drastically altered it). Everything was going great.

Then Greg Schiano came rolling into town from Rutgers and everything fell apart (which is what happens when you hire a coach from the Big East American Dumpster Fire conference), leading to Freeman being benched for Napoleon Dynamite Mike Glennon and eventually being released. But every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end, and today Freeman may have caught the break he’s been looking for. A Taco Bell in Bismarck, North Dakota was awarded Josh off of waivers from Tampa.

“We’re excited to add Josh to our roster,” said Sam Smith, manager of the Bismarck Taco Bell. “We’ll start him off slow as backup cashier, but he will get the opportunity to sit behind Timmy and watch, learn and then eventually compete for the starting job. We can’t expect Josh to come in and handle things like adding 99 cents and 1.49 and then giving change for a 5 right away. That’s upper level stuff. So he’ll be wearing the fire sauce suit to start out. We can’t have him pass out anything because…well…you know.”

What does Freeman himself think of this? “I’m just happy to get the hell out of Tampa and get somewhere where I can actually expect fans to show up,” Josh said. “That pirate ship in the end zone is the most obnoxious thing in the world, why do you think I didn’t want to score any touchdowns there? Someone needs a cannonball to the gut after the next touchdown. I suggest Schiano.” Well that could explain it. Why else would Josh need 11 foot tall wide receivers? He can’t be THAT inaccurate, can he?

Josh is taking it all in stride. “I’m going to take the tips Mark Sanchez gave me ( about being on the bench and before you know it I’ll be rolling in the dough…maybe a good 7 or EIGHT dollars an hour, and I can lead this team to a championship.” No one bothered to point out to him that he can’t lead a Taco Bell to a title, but he’ll figure it out. Good luck Josh, maybe you’ll be able to say one day that you took money from a bunch of drunk kids wanting fourthmeal.

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  1. Pingback: Josh Freeman diagnosed with “Mark Sanchez-like” symptoms - NOTSportsCenter

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