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NFL Fans demand apology for Colin Kaepernick’s use of “swag”

kaepernickswag

In life, there are some things you just don’t do. For example: lie, cheat, steal, tell a woman she looks fat, or wear a Miami Dolphins hat in public. Unfortunately for 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick, for some reason he decided to do that last one. Even the 6 fans of that team wouldn’t do that. Now, he’s suffering the consequences and getting torn apart by the media for it (mostly because there’s nothing else to talk about, and one can only run so many “What LeBron’s dinner last night tells us about him as a person” stories).

So, to try to make up for it, he took to Instagram and posted the picture above. Note the caption. Now he’s got a bigger problem on his hands than a hat. Fans of all teams are demanding an immediate apology for his embarrassing and offensive behavior: the use of the word “swag.” Yes, he used a triple negative as well, but that’s basically the best attempt at correct grammar you’re going to get out of an NFL player. And that ain’t what we talkin bout here, we not talk bout no English. We talkin bout pissed off fans.

Anonymous NFL fan on Kaepernick’s use of swag: “If I wanted to see a weak little boy that wore hats from a bunch of different teams and talked like a total douchebag, I’d go to a Justin Bieber concert. You’re the starting QB on one of the most famous franchises in the NFL. Get it together. Alex Smith may not be able to throw it farther than 5 yards or so, but at least he wasn’t that much of a tool. I don’t pay a jillion dollars to come to an NFL game to see dbags like that. I want an apology.” Tell us how you really feel.

What does the NFL Commissioner think of all this? Roger Goodell on Kaepernick’s mistake: “Well I’d fine James Harrison for it, but i’m getting bored of that. I think I might suspend Colin. An 8 game suspension sounds like I mean business. That’s all I really care about. Then we can fight it out through the appeals process for 7 weeks and then he won’t end up suspended at all. As usual with me, everyone wins.” Except the Saints. Or the taxpayers whose money they’re wasting in court. But sure, “everyone wins.”

Roger also saw a chance to push his agenda a little further: “This is yet another reason why we should have an 18 game season. Heck, it should be a 45 game season. It all comes down to player safety. Sure they’ll all probably be on IR with multiple broken bones by the end of the year, but is that so bad? Would you rather have these guys on the street using words like swag? That’s just too dangerous. Our fans want more football.” Yes, yes they do. Are you ready for some 13th string QB’s???

Remember: stick to wearing your team’s gear, or you could end up getting suspended from work or school and accidentally sounding like Justin Bieber. And there’s no recovering from that.

3 Comments

  1. Das Yash

    at

    That fan needs to get a life! Get a clue dude, it’s not a cult. It’s a professional club. We are not cult-members, we are fans! If you like Alex so much, stay home and watch the Chiefs. Kaepernick is a grown man, he can wear whatever he likes. not to mention, he is playing under minimum contract, not Alex money! S T F U!

  2. Das Yash

    at

    That fan needs to get a life! Get a clue dude, it’s not a cult. It’s a professional club. We are not cult-members, we are fans! If you like Alex so much, stay home and watch the Chiefs. Kaepernick is a grown man, he can wear whatever he likes. not to mention, he is playing under minimum contract, not Alex money! S T F U!

  3. Das Yash

    at

    That fan needs to get a life! Get a clue dude, it’s not a cult. It’s a professional club. We are not cult-members, we are fans! If you like Alex so much, stay home and watch the Chiefs. Kaepernick is a grown man, he can wear whatever he likes. not to mention, he is playing under minimum contract, not Alex money! S T F U!

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