Kidd fired as coach of Nets, minutes after being hired


Wednesday the Nets made a bold decision for their future: bringing the recently retired Jason Kidd in to be head coach. But before we could even find out if Kidd could teach his team how to not score any points at all like he did in his last playoffs, Deron Williams did what he does best: got him fired. That’s right. Reports had barely started surfacing of Kidd being hired, and Deron already got him fired. Deron really strikes fast. Good thing too, because Kidd probably would’ve started himself at PG over Deron.

Jason Kidd on the wild day: “It may be the 12 jack and cokes i’ve had today talking, but I was really fired up to be coach of the Nets. Joe Johnson and Brook Lopez? How exciting! Then like 5 minutes later that douche Deron had to be his typical douche self. He’s such a girl. I’d so punch her in the face if I ever saw her. Whatever. Do you know where the closest bar is? I need a drink. It’s been like 10 minutes since I’ve had one. I’m fine to drive though. Really.” Jason insisted he was fine to drive, yet had no keys to a car….so who knows how that will end up.

But imagine if Deron Williams teamed up with Dwight Howard. There would be a firing line of coaches from Brooklyn back to New Jersey. The Nets would have a thousand head coaches a year. That would get pretty confusing. Odds are someone would get hired a couple times. Imagine the reactions: “Vinny Del Negro, you’re back! You were just here last Wednesday!” “Yeah I really didn’t have anything better to do, needed to add some more to my resume. Now I’ve got the experience of having had 3 head coaching jobs. Sure 2 of them only lasted like 5 minutes but I probably wasn’t getting that without the Nets.” At least Del Negro’s honest.

But the Nets should just name Deron Williams head coach. It would be good for Deron, that’d be one head coach he could finally get along with. Although knowing Deron, he’d try to get himself fired. That would make for some awkward conversation with his GM.

Deron: “Look you have to get rid of coach, I can’t stand listening to him talk anymore.”

Billy King: “Deron I agree with you completely, I can’t stand listening to him either. But you do realize YOU are the coach right?”

Deron: “So? Fire his ass already! I mean wait…don’t fire me, fire the coach. Is that possible? Crap I don’t even know. Fire someone. Call up Jerry Sloan and hire him and fire him again. That’ll work.”

Deron just LOVES Jerry Sloan. But what is the answer for the Nets? Who knows. They’ll probably go digging through the Hawks’ trash in Atlanta to see what they can find. That’s how they built a roster, so it might as well be how they find a coach.


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