LeBron puts up double digit flops for the 500th consecutive game


After 10 seasons in the NBA, LeBron James has finally been recognized for what he does best: flopping. On Tuesday he put up double digit flops in his 500th consecutive game, becoming the first player in NBA history to do so (Manu Ginobili put up only 9 once and sadly broke his streak). James reached the milestone with a majestic drop to the floor like a true fish out of water, and after bouncing up to speak to the refs about how he’d have their jobs if they didn’t call a foul, spoke out about his accomplishment.

“First off, I’d like to thank myself,” LeBron proudly said. “Without my amazing god given talents, none of you would be able to witness greatness. Secondly, I’d like to again thank myself, because frankly, I don’t thank myself enough. That time I honored myself for donating $50 ( was nice, but I deserve more. Thirdly, I’d like to thank David Stern for giving me this amazing opportunity. Without his help of giving me my own rulebook, none of this would be possible.”

He’s so damn modest. Remember: when you’re good you’ll tell everyone, but when you’re great you’ll rub it in their face. Or something like that. What did David Stern have to say about this? “I couldn’t be prouder,” Stern said, beaming like a proud wife. “He’s my boy, and he finally did something Jordan could never do. He’s without a doubt the greatest flopper of all time, and nobody can ever take that away from him. Not Wade, not Ginboili, not Paul Pierce, not Harden. If they do it, I’ll fine the crap out of them.”

Oh David Stern…we’re all gonna miss you so much. We tried to reach Dwyane Wade for comment, but he saw a really cute purse on sale and couldn’t stop for 10 seconds for fear of losing it to “some other slut.” He takes his shopping seriously. Ditto for Chris Bosh, who was spending time with his beautiful new baby ostrich that his wife had just given birth to. But congrats LeBron, you and your fans can finally say you’re the greatest of all time at something. And yet again, we’re all witnesses.


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