The Irony of Manuel’s Firing


Father Time is not a Phillies fan. The cruel King of Calendars hatched a plot before the season to cripple the Philadelphia franchise’s best players, in turn ending the tenure of long-time manager Charlie Manuel. The result is a team more than 20 games out of first and more concerned with AARP than ERA and OPS.


Roy Halladay

Roy Halladay, Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard seemed to be the most affected with each passing day (though Chase Utley seems almost unfazed by age, largely due to the fact that he is a hobbit). “It’s been our most physically demanding season,” said Halladay. “We’re doing all we can to stay competitive on the field, but the commissioner has really hamstrung us by announcing that Metamucil is now considered a performance enhancing drug. It’s affected the entire organization. In addition to a bat boy, management also had to hire a cane boy this season to retrieve Ryan’s cane after he reached the batters box.”

While that trio continued to break down, however, their manager looked as spry as he did the day he was hired as Phillies manager back in 2004. The great irony in the Philadelphia situation was that Manuel had not aged a day in his nine years running the ball club. Unfortunately, almost immediately following the press conference announcing the end of his time in the Phillies dugout, Father Time threw him one last curve ball. Following is a NOTSportsCenter MLB exclusive look at Manuel after the media event concluded:

Fired manager Charlie Manuel

Charlie Manuel, post-press conference

We wish Ryne Sandberg the best of luck on his decision to manage the Phillies, but we fear that he chose….poorly.

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