SOURCE: Mark Cuban has been scouting for players at the YMCA


It’s been a rough couple of years for Mark Cuban after finally winning his first title. He got that title and decided “well there’s only one way to improve a championship team: drop a nuclear bomb on it.” That uh…didn’t work out so well. The plan was to get Deron Williams and Dwight Howard who ended up in Brooklyn and Houston (for now) respectively. Maybe Chris Paul? Stayed in L.A. Andrew Bynum? Chose Cleveland. Brittney Griner? Turned him down (probably). So what’s he doing now?

According to a well placed source, he’s decided to hit the local YMCA in Dallas to see what’s going on, thinking there someone might not turn him down. Well, unfortunately, even that was wrong. Joey from Dallas High thought over his offer, but decided to take that highly coveted Burger King management position instead. Tommy from the curb outside the building decided to move into the homeless shelter instead. It’s been rough for Mr. Cuban, but he hasn’t given up hope.

Cuban on what he’s seen, “It’s been exciting. First, off the reffing is so much better at the YMCA, mostly because there usually aren’t any refs at all. Second, there’s a lot of white people here. I had no idea so many white people played basketball.” Apparently he’s never watched college basketball. Or the Timberwolves. He continued, “I saw Mike Bibby come in here last week, he looked like such a beast playing that team from the rest home! I think I’m gonna contact him.” Uh…okay sure Mr. Cuban. Whatever you say.

UPDATE: Mike Bibby has already shot him down. Welp. Looks like it’s on to Plan Z…until that guy shoots him down. Then he’s gonna be really screwed because he’s out of letters in the alphabet. Needless to say, times are getting desperate in Dallas. Dwight Howard turned down a lifetime of free chicken to come there. Maybe they should just tank for Andrew Wiggins? That could work, at least until it’s time to sign the contract and he turns them down too.

Maybe the strategy is just to wait it out until all of his players turn down re-signing? That could actually work. You can’t lose games if you don’t have a team. Just ask Seattle.

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