SOURCE: Tracy McGrady moving to South Africa “to be a champion”


The NBA Finals ended in heartbreak.  Not because the Heat won, but because star cheerleader Tracy McGrady, who finally got to the Finals after years of having the first round make him its’ bi+ch, finished the Finals with 0 points.  He was so close to scoring, even amazingly getting to dribble the ball a few times. But he just couldn’t put the ball in the hoop. And now for all intents and purposes, his career is over. Such a sad way for such a stud bench rider to go out. What happened?

He was worn out from all the yelling, screaming, high fives, and fist bumps. After he played 8 long minutes in Game 2 he was doubtful for the rest of the series ( but he kept playing anyway, logging a monster 7 minutes over the rest of the series. That’s truly the heart of a champion. He knows to Be. Aggressive. B. E. Aggressive. He was such a team guy that he called Derrick Rose for tips on being the best cheerleader he could be in Game 7. So devoted.

What’s going to happen to him now? He says he’s retiring, but who knows, he could try to steal Juwan Howard or Rashard Lewis’ highly coveted “ride the bench and cheer your way to a title” roles with the Heat. He’d likely be willing to be paid in trident layers to do so.  But for now, according to a source, he’s moving to South Africa. Why? “To be a champion,” the source said. “He can go around South Africa sporting Spurs championship gear, and no one will be the wiser. It’s perfect for him.” That it is.

Usually only shirts and hats get shipped overseas, but Tracy’s going one step further. “He’s even having a Spurs championship ring made for him to wear,” the source said. Now THAT will be a collector’s item. He can pretend to be a champion and then sell it to a bandwagon Heat fan that jumps to the Spurs the next time they win a title, because they won’t know any better anyway. That Tracy McGrady sure is a crafty one, and now, a champion. In South Africa, at least.

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