NOTSportsCenter Selling Authentic Royals Fans’ Tears


Are you a Royals fan? Have you been a Royals fan since their last playoff berth? Do you even remember when their last playoff berth even was? Well,’s online marketplace has a product for you.

For those Kansas City fans who have been following their team for the last 28 years, seeing the Royals participate in zero playoff games in that time, you probably have no more tears left to shed. Lucky for you, Royals Authentics has wisely been collecting those tears for decades and is making them available for Royals fans in need for only $19.99 per bottle.


When the Royals get you down but your tear ducts are as effective as their bullpen, put a few droplets from the bottle in your eyes and cry not just any tears, but authentic Royals fans’ tears. As the season wears on and a playoff berth drifts further and further out of reach for the 29th consecutive season, simply pour the entire contents in your eyes for a more appropriate effect.

Buyers will receive a certificate of authenticity to ensure they are receiving actual Royals fans’ tears and not Pirates fans’ tears that has been unable to sell since last summer.

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