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NASCAR hits the bar looking to pick up chicks

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NASCAR has always sought to be on the cutting edge of competition and marketing. No other sport is so rooted in their dependence on the fanbase. Given this knowledge and the explosion of Danica Mania. The top brass in NASCAR has taken note and begun an in depth search to anchor the future of the sport’s success.

Rather than spending Friday and Saturday nights scouring the local dirt tracks that dot the country mingling amongst the Rednecks and Blue-Collars, team owners and executives have traded Budweiser and dirt for Cosmos in trendy night clubs. Sex sells and NASCAR has gone metro.

Richard Childress long time car owner for Dale Earnhardt has gone on the record to say “I have a vested interest in this years Victoria Secret runway show. If I can get Alessandra Ambrosia in a fire suit talking about wedge adjustments who cares if she finishes 40th.”

Rick Hendrick further corroborated that sentiment by stating, “I already have a mediocre gold mine in Dale Earnhardt Jr. can you imagine the fans and sponsor dollars we could bring by adding a set of 34 D’s to the team.”

Even Danica Patrick who became the first woman/swimsuit model to start P1 in NASCAR’s top series also jumped into the conversation. “How awesome would it be to see multiple hot women battling to sit on the pole every week.” That would “perk”up everything including ratings.

NASCAR understands the need for safety and that it’s participants should be credible. President Mike Helton released a statement on location at the Adult Video News awards that all new female drivers will be taught the differences between motor oil and massage oil and that careful attention will be paid to avoid embarrassing gear shifter incidents.

This plan for the future is not without it’s challenges. There have already been several concerns lobbied by crew chiefs and spotters who wonder how they will do their jobs with constant questions from the drivers of “do I look fat in this firesuit” or “what are you thinking?”

While it is too early to make long term predictions on this concepts success two things are certain. Michael Waltrip is stoked to “girl talk” and Jamie McMurray can’t wait for all the hair product.

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