NBA Conference Finals Predictions


Western Conference: Memphis Grizzlies versus San Antonio Spurs

We’ve learned from sources close to David Stern that he’s extremely concerned about the outcome of the series. According to Stern, the worst case scenario is either one of these teams winning.

“We just can’t have either of these franchises playing the Heat in the finals,” the source indicated Stern said. “It’d be a ratings disaster. We need to find a solution.”

Prediction: David Stern will eliminate the Spurs and Grizzlies prior to tip off today and replace them with the Warriors and Thunder. He’ll say, “Basketball reasons,” if asked why, but nobody will. Warriors in 7.



Eastern Conference: Miami Heat versus Indiana Pacers

The Indiana Pacers have already lost this series. Sadly, we couldn’t get our prediction in on time.

“It was a hard fought battle,” LeBron said giving an interview from a hammock between two palm trees in South Beach. “The Packers were a really tough team.” When a reporter corrected LeBron pointing out that they were matched up with the Pacers as opposed to the Packers, LeBron responded, “Them too. Now massage my feet, bitch.”

Prediction: Heat in 0.

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