SOURCE: Cavs to hang “#1 overall draft pick champions” banners

By NOTSCWill
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Updated: November 18, 2013

The Cavs have struggled on the court in recent day…wee…mon…yea…well basically for forever now, and they don’t have any championship banners to show off. But they think they have a way to solve that. No, they don’t plan on improving their team, this is CLEVELAND we’re talking about remember? They have another solution. Knowing it’s going to take temperatures in hell to drop to -10000 before they ever win a title, they’ve decided that they’re going to hang draft pick “champions” banners instead.

That’s right. According to a source, the Cavs are going to start hanging “#1 overall draft pick champions” banners. Why wait till the year 43 million to brag about one NBA title when you can brag about having had 5 number one overall draft picks (most in NBA history), 3 in the last 11 years (obviously the most), and 2 in the last 3 (if you can’t figure out THAT is the most, go do your math homework. Seriously. You’ll need to know how much change to give at the Burger King cash register, so go get on it.)?

They’ve had more number 1 overall draft picks (5) than conference and division titles combined (4. seriously, no need for a joke there, that’s sad enough.), and they plan on telling the world about it. Rather than hope and pray that LeBron gets insanely drunk and accidentally signs the wrong contract when he becomes a free agent this summer, they can just keep on doing things like drafting guys #1 overall that take 4 games to make 1 field goal and hiring coaches they already fired once for failing to win a title.

They can dominate the #1 draft pick game they’re already so good at, and give Cleveland something to brag about.

What’s not to like, right Nick Gilbert?