NFL bails out CFP committee, names TCU 2014 NFC South Champions


You’ve heard the outrage about the college football playoff. “TCU was THIRD. How are they Sixth now?” The answer is: because the committee is too busy counting SEC money to care about actually ranking teams. Condoleezza Rice spent most of the meetings insisting on invading certain Universities to find their Weapons of Mass Destruction rather than talking about football. Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder could’ve done a better job picking week to week than this group did.


Camera man: “Okay guys, sayyyyy SEC!”

You’ve heard the jokes about the NFL’s version of the short bus: the NFC South. “Damn my mom and 10 of her friends could win the NFC South.” And many of them aren’t that far from the truth (your mom’s definitely a better QB than Josh McCown). Well, with TCU seemingly getting screwed out of a playoff game, and the NFC South continuing to plummet below YMCA teams in the power rankings, the NFL has come up with a dual solution.

The NFL decided to name TCU 2014 NFC South Champions.

Roger Goodell: “We feel this is in the best interest of our fans, and player safety.” Several media members looked around confused and then one asked “Roger: this is about TCU?” Roger looked as puzzled as the media did.

Goodell then continued, “Oh, right. Sorry. Force of habit. But no, we feel this is the in the best interest of our fans and play…crap. I can’t stop saying that. I apologize again. But in this scenario, TCU gets the playoff game they felt they deserved and the we get a NFC South winner that won’t wet itself the moment it takes the field in the playoffs. Everyone wins. Well…except Baylor. Who supposedly won on the field. But I haven’t seen the tape of that, so I won’t believe that happened until I do. We’ll look for it sometime after the Super Bowl, I promise.”

Roger Goodell

Roger ain’t got time for your crap, media

Roger then slipped out giggling before any more questions could be asked.

And there are plenty of unanswered questions: Is TCU the 4 seed in the NFL playoffs despite only one loss? Why not pick Baylor? Does Head to Head really not matter for them or Bill Clinton? Why does Roger Goodell giggle anytime he mentions looking for tape?

One thing is for sure: it’s finally a move by Roger Goodell that everyone is happy with.

Except Baylor.

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