NFL Week 17 #boldpredictions


Each week we like to do our take on NFL Network’s #boldpredictions. Here are NOTSC’s predictions for NFL Week 17’s games.


Panthers at Falcons: After the game, Tony Gonzalez will announce he’s retiring as many times as he possibly can to make sure there’s no way the Falcons can convince him to come back to this team again.

Ravens at Bengals: After losing and missing the playoffs, the Ravens will put Joe Flacco’s contract into a paper shredder and claim “they lost it.” When Flacco turns up 19 extra copies, they’ll then put him through the shredder.

Jaguars at Colts: Sitting multiple starters, the Colts will struggle against the Jaguars, only beating them by 30.

Browns at Steelers: Whenever there’s a camera on him (in the huddle, in the end zone, during a play etc) Josh Gordon will take HGH, adderall, every illegal drug he can think of, ¬†hoping to get suspended again so he can finally get away from the Browns for good.

Texans at Titans: With nothing to play for, the Titans won’t even show up to the game. And the Texans will still lose.

49ers at Cardinals: Realizing they need the Bucs to win to make the playoffs, the Cardinals will show up for the coin toss and then say “screw you guys, we’re going home.”

Packers at Bears: In the most important regular season game of his Bears career, a motivated Jay Cutler will only throw 4 interceptions. In the first half.

Bills at Patriots: Wanting to contribute, Rob Gronkowski will check into the game while looking like this:


And the Bills still won’t be able to stop him from scoring 3 TDs.

Bucs at Saints: After a loss wraps up their season, the Bucs will fire Greg Schiano, out of a cannon, into the Gulf of Mexico.

Broncos at Raiders: Peyton Manning will one up his first record performance against the Raiders (under his fake name “Nick Foles”: by throwing for 8 TDs. Blindfolded.

Chiefs at Chargers: With Jamaal Charles sitting, Philip Rivers will feel sorry for the Chiefs and spot them an early lead so that he doesn’t have a lead to blow in the 2nd half.

Rams at Seahawks: To make sure his offense doesn’t fail at home again, Pete Carroll will have his entire offense so high on adderall that they’ll score in 10 seconds. 5 times.

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