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Bud Selig cancels 2013 MLB Playoffs

SeligCantHear

On Wednesday night, America celebrated what will surely soon become a national holiday: the Yankees being eliminated from playoff contention. But when a team like the Yankees gets eliminated from the playoffs, you can expect repercussions, and they came right away. Within an hour of being eliminated, Bud Selig took immediate drastic action and canceled the entire 2013 MLB Playoffs completely. Why? “I don’t see the point. There’s no reason to have them now without the Yankees,” Bud Selig said.

Okay then. But Selig wasn’t done there. Selig: “The media will have absolutely nothing to talk about baseball related without the Yankees in the playoffs. Plus who really wants to watch the A’s, Indians and the Pirates in the playoffs? The PIRATES? Are you kidding me? I’d rather watch old WNBA replays myself. You heard me.” Selig watches the WNBA. It’s all starting to make sense. He probably dims the lights, throws on some Nickelback and takes in some WNBA “action.” But what will happen now when the season ends?

Will Selig finally start hearing A-Rod’s appeal? “Doesn’t seem like the appropriate time,” Selig said. “This is a time of mourning. We…I mean the Yankees are already losing Mariano Rivera to retirement and Derek Jeter could end up following him right out that door. That’s just not fair to us…uh sorry I mean them. We’ll get around to it. Eventually. He’s guilty but I just can’t take him away from our…crap. I mean their team too.” Give him a break, he’s old and senile. He forgets he’s supposed to be impartial.

But those poor Yankees. They can never catch a break. A payroll that could buy them a small country, 27 titles, and their 2nd time missing the playoffs in 19 years. With those kinds of unfortunate circumstances, it only makes sense to cancel the playoffs. Especially from a commissioner who has canceled the World Series, ended an all star game in a tie and decided to award Home Field Advantage to a winner of a game that features members of the Astros and Cubs. But after all, if it’s not fair to the Yankees, who is it fair to?

5 Comments

  1. Charles Dalero

    at

    You know what is really sloppy, when the writers/site admins have the joke of the story in the URL. Why bother clicking on this bullshit to ready something you already know by the URL?

    • NOTSCWill

      at

      And yet you still did to comment, so how smart does that make you?

      • Charles Dalero

        at

        Because maybe you’ll pull your head out of your ass and learn to not give away the punchline from just the URL alone? It’s like a poster for Titanic that says “They still drown”

        • NOTSCWill

          at

          Titanic grossed over 2 billion dollars with everyone knowing the ending before they even walked in. Sweet example, bro.

  2. Pingback: REPORT: Red Sox 2013 title will be noted with an asterisk - NOTSportsCenter

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