NYC’s Dark Knight: Bobby Valentine

By NOTMLBTonight
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Updated: September 19, 2013

“It takes a big man to admit that he’s wrong. It takes an even bigger man to tell you that he’s an even bigger man.” – Bobby Valentine

In light of recent statements made by former Rangers, Mets and Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine about the Yankees and New York City, we offered him an open forum here on NOTSportsCenter.com to expand upon his comments. Bobby Valentine in his own words:

Apparently, you can’t rebuild a city wearing 26 rings on your fingers. When this city needed me, I wasn’t polishing my jewelry. I was out there consoling the people of New York City by giving them the memory of being consoled by Bobby Valentine.

I used to tell people that they should rebuild the World Trade towers. Thirteen years later, there it is. So, yeah, I basically built that new tower. It was my idea. What did the Yankees build? Just a new stadium, self-centered bastards that they are – always thinking of themselves.

Who was there for New Yorkers when Mayor Buzzkill outlawed large sodas? Not the Yankees, I’ll tell you that. No, it was me. I was there guzzling depth charge-sized beverages on the streets of Manhattan. No one anywhere else in the country even considered enacting the same kind of legislation and my act of civil disobedience ensured that they would care even less about the topic.

It’s only a matter of time before I’m back managing again, too. There isn’t a single team in this league that wouldn’t benefit from my presence in the dugout. Take Detroit, for example. Sure Jim Leyland has them contending for the World Series every year. That’s cute, but I could save that city from bankruptcy. It would be a modern day “Field of Dreams”. People will come from all over to see a manager with crazy antics and awesome disguises. We could have a lemonade stand and bake sale outside the stadium. I’m full of ideas. I’m the hero the Motor City needs.

It is only fair that we also offer the opportunity for a response by Yankees President Randy Levine: “Bobby Valentine is the managerial equivalent of a Kardashian sister. His biggest contribution to New York City was managing the Boston Red Sox.”