Edmonton Oilers Holding Contest For Most Annoying Goal Song


Edmonton– In an effort to distract, er, involve, the fanbase, the Edmonton Oilers are holding a contest to find the “Most Annoying Goal Song.”

“It seems like opposing fans enjoy watching and attending our games because they believe that our team is an easy play,” Oilers GM Steve Tambellini told reporters at the announcement press conference. “By doing this contest, our fans can have a hand in making our games a living hell for opposing fans!”

The contest, which began last week, calls for fans to make submissions, via the team’s official website, Twitter, and Facebook pages, for goal songs that “will annoy, bother, and pester opposing fans with extreme prejudice.” Per the rules, the songs chosen by fans are played for one game, with the overwhelming favorite chosen by popular vote at the end of the season. The winning song will be the goal song for the entire 2013-14 NHL season, and the fan who originally mentioned the song will receive season tickets, an team autographed jersey, and a video of the reactions of opposing fans whenever the song plays.

“This is an awesome idea!” Kayla McKnight, a young Oilers fan, told reporters. “I mean, can you imagine how opposing fans would react if “Barbie Girl” played after every Oiler goal? O.M.G.!”

“I wish they thought of this sooner,” Michael Watson remarked. “I have a collection of thrash metal and sludge metal songs that would make the Rexall Place fell like the bowels of Hades!”

The contest’s first song, a work* by the artist Pitbull, was played during the Oilers-Coyotes game last week, a game that ended in a 3-1 loss for the Oilers, with mixed results.

“I had no idea what was going on,” Coyotes Captain Shane Doan told reporters after the game. “It’s nothing like the songs I’ve heard in other arena’s before. Kinda glad it only played once, ya know?”

“I kinda liked it,” D-man Keith Yandle said from his locker stall. “It’s different, it’s new, and I like Pitbull. Dalé!

Sources say that the team has received a large amount of song requests, which include artists and groups such as Nicki Minaj, One Direction, and Slayer. The song for the next game, where the Oilers will face the Calgary Flames, has already been loaded into the system. Sources tell me that it will either be “Cotton-Eyed Joe” or “Poker Face.”



*Since the majority of Pitbull’s songs sound the same, NOTSC is still unsure which one was used. However, it can be assumed that, since at least one member of the Coyotes enjoyed the song, it will not be the winner.*

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