Pacers F Paul George named 2014-2023 NBA dunk contest winner


The NBA finally solved the dunk contest problem: name someone winner without even participating in it. As you can see below, Pacers F Paul George unveiled something  against the Clippers that would take 9,843,244,234,765,356,239 attempts for someone who actually entered in the dunk contest to pull off successfully.

After seeing a dunk like that, David Stern took immediate action and named Paul George winner of every dunk contest for the next decade.

“Trust me, I’m as tired as you are of seeing these lame dunk contests,” Stern said. “It takes some of these guys 7 or 8 attempts just to make a layup, it’s pathetic. And when they do finally pull the layup off, the stupid drunk judges give them a 50 like they actually did something more than my grandmother could’ve done. Having seen Paul’s dunk, I feel confident in awarding him 10 trophies. Frankly, and I know my boo LeBron won’t like hearing this, he deserves more. I’m sorry baby, it’s true.”

Golden State Warriors v Miami Heat

LeBron wasn’t too happy after hearing Stern gave 10 trophies to someone else

Congrats to Paul on winning 10 trophies at once, that’s quite an accomplishment. LeBron’s always wished he could win rings like that. But what will they do to fill the time on All-Star weekend? Stern: “I really don’t know. We need something that we can give LeBron another trophy for so that he and his fans feel better about themselves, especially after Ramon Sessions dunked all over him tonight. Remember: they only focus on LeBron.” Ouch…starting sound like there’s trouble in paradise.

If you haven’t seen it, here’s what Stern was referring to:


Sorry, it seems that footage has been erased. Suddenly none of it exists, anywhere. Ramon Sessions also hasn’t been seen since the game. Crazy isn’t it? Hmmm. Wonder what happened?

Stern continued: “Maybe we can fill the time with a headband wearing contest. That’s something I know LeBron will never lose at. He’s got the best headband in hand to forehead time I’ve ever seen. So we could line up LeBron and a bunch of sucke…contestants  to see how fast they can put on their headbands. And no matter what happens, we’ll give LeBron the trophy, just like the MVP race. And we can even have someone like Dick’s Sporting Goods sponsor it. Perfect. God I’m a genius.”

So stay tuned during this year’s All Star weekend for the Dick’s Sporting Goods 2014 NBA headband wearing contest. It’ll certainly have more action than the dunk contest did.



  1. Pingback: NOTSportsCenter’s Top 10 Funniest stories of the Week 01/12-01/19 - NOTSportsCenter

  2. Pingback: Video: Bulls mascot Benny Bull is more acrobatic than his team - NOTSportsCenter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>