Jets name random guy playing catch in parking lot starting QB

With the Browns picking Brandon Weeden and the Eagles picking Michael Vick, the Jets felt pressure to keep up and finally came to a decision on who they’d be throwing to the wolves as their starting QB. It’s not Mark Sanchez, it’s not even Geno Smith (time to fire his agent again). Or Greg McElroy. Or the fathead of Joe Namath that was dominating back in May (http://notsportscenter.com/jetsqbfathead/). It’s a guy that Rex Ryan randomly saw playing catch in a parking lot. He doesn’t even know his name.

Why name a random guy in the parking lot starting QB? Rex Ryan: “I’m not sure to be honest. It just feels right.” That’s been the method to his madness from the beginning, especially considering he can’t see (http://notsportscenter.com/rexryanisblind/). Rex continued, “This guy has that it factor we’ve been looking for in a QB. I handed him a football and said throw it at that brick wall 10 yards away. When I heard that football actually hit the wall and didn’t hear “INTERCEPTED!” I knew he was the one for me.”

So when you look at the Jets depth chart, you’ll see this at QB:

1. Random parking lot guy

2.                        (they will play without one if RPLG gets hurt)

3. Geno Smith (3rd? time to fire the new agent he just hired in the first paragraph)

4. Joe Namath Fathead (they aren’t sure if he’s disappointed…he never shows any emotion)

5. Vinny Testaverde (impressive for a guy who’s 49 and has been retired since 2007)

6. Bill Lumbergh (if he could come in on Saturday to practice, that would be greatttt)

7. Greg McElroy (this is actually higher on the depth chart than he’s been, so he’s happy)

8. Scruffy, the Janitor (who’s he?)

Mark Sanchez didn’t even make an 8 man depth chart at QB, but the news isn’t all bad, he did earn a starting position. He’s been named starting bench warmer, he’ll be in charge of keeping the bench nice and warm for everyone actually playing this year. They’re hopefully he won’t get intercepted too often doing that, but with Sanchez you really never know. Also, if teams that have 2 QB’s really don’t have 1, what do teams with 8 QBs really have? -4? If you know the answer to that, let us know.

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3 Comments

1. 

   Tate Dragstra

   at

   Scruffy, the janitor. He’s from Futurama.

   Reply
   • 

     NOTSCWill

     at

     yes man, the idea of “who’s he” was referencing people always asking who he is, before he says “I’m Scruffy…the janitor.” I wouldn’t put a name in an article asking who he was if I didn’t actually know who he was lol

     Reply

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