PIC: Larry Bird is selling Pacers C Roy Hibbert on amazon

By NOTSCWill
- Tweet
- Pin It
Updated: April 22, 2014

Pacers center Roy Hibbert is an enigma. He looks like a beast, yet he plays like a troll doll, and that’s probably insulting the troll doll. Nobody can figure out what his problem is. So they think they have a solution: sell him to some poor fool who has never actually watched the Pacers play.

That’s right, he’s been the Pacers problem for weeks now, and now he can be your problem. Thanks to “L.Bird”, you can buy Hibbert on Amazon, for the low price of $143,000, which is sure to drop to about $1.43 before anyone actually bids.

(pic via @PageQSports)

The perfect center for tanking…oh if only the Sixers had traded Evan Turner for him instead of Danny Granger, maybe they would’ve gotten that elusive #1 pick. Oops.

Here’s the return policy: “If you’re dumb enough to buy him, he’s yours forever. You can’t even make him motivated enough to want to leave your house, even with a cattle prod or a shock collar or even a shotgun. So good luck.” That must be what they mean by “buyer beware.”

Not only can you buy Hibbert, you can even buy authentic Roy Hibbert uniforms:

Roy Hibbert’s uniforms are very stylish

They’re quite sharp, especially that alternate green one.

So pick up Roy Hibbert or Roy Hibbert uniforms today, before they sell out*! Perfect for any Pacers fan to wipe away their tears on!

(* = the Cubs will win the World Series, the Browns will win the Super Bowl, and Jesus Christ himself will walk into your living room before that happens)