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Veteran goalie Martin Brodeur reveals fear of hockey pucks

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Newark — New Jersey Devils G Martin Brodeur has had an awesome career. With 686 career wins, 4 Vezina trophies, a career 2.24 goals-against average, and a leader in most if not all meaningful goalie statistical categories, he has asserted himself as a dominant goaltender.

Which is why it was such a shock to learn that Martin Brodeur is afraid of the very thing he has been stopping his whole career.

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Scary stuff.

In an interview with us here at NOTSC, Mr. Brodeur revealed to us that he has an irrational fear of hockey pucks, and it’s this fear that has propelled him to be one of the greatest goalies to ever play the game.

“They terrify me, man,” Brodeur told us, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “A frozen piece of tire flying at you at 100 miles per hour with nothing but a sheer piece of fabric to protect you? No thanks, man.”

Brodeur told us of how, as a kid, his fear started when his dad used to take little plastic tires off of his toy cars and throw them at his son as hard as he could, trying to toughen up his son to prepare him for a life of being an human puck-magnet.

“I mean, I’d be getting out of the shower and my dad would chuck this frozen piece of plastic at my chest, yelling something like ‘Heads up!’ or ‘Catch it or no dinner for you!’ and I was like ‘What the crap, dad, get out of the bathroom.'”

He went on to tell us of how, in junior hockey leagues, his teammates would do nothing but take slap-shots at him in practice.

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Things got a little scary/kinky

“At first, I would dive out of the way, but coach kept telling me that a goalie can’t just jump out of the way, they had to fight them off, try to catch them,” Brodeur reflected, rubbing his hands absentmindedly.

“Of course, it didn’t help that my teammates would tease me about it. I would get out of the shower to see my locker stuffed and overflowing with pucks, or they would always yell ‘Slapper!” at me in the middle of drills, making me think they were taking another shot at me.”

With such a rough life in the junior levels, Brodeur quickly learned how to cope.

“I just started using the glove. Everyone sees me make a glove save and they ohh and ahh and whatever, but I’m really swinging my hand at it to smack it away.”

“It’s like swatting a bee. A black bee the size of your fist flying as fast as a car on the interstate. It’s not as cool as it sounds. Not for kids.”

It’s been a long road to this point for Brodeur. Having been a member of the New Jersey Devils since he was drafted back in the Dark Ages (1990), he has fought this debilitating fear of pucks every season. It’s only now, at the end of his career, he has decided to reveal his secret.

Of course, we did tell him that we would publish this article after the season so no one could exploit his fear, but we here at NOTSC are not known for our compassion.

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“I hate you all.”

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