Raiders trade Carson Palmer to Cardinals for $5 in monopoly money


After Carson Palmer refused to take a pay cut, the Raiders quickly moved to trade for Matt Flynn and promptly ship him out. When Arizona came dangling 5 whole monopoly dollars they couldn’t believe their luck, and couldn’t afford to waste any time, so they immediately accepted the deal.

Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie on the deal: “I’m trying to build a Super Bowl caliber team here. I’m also trying to buy Park Place. When this offer came along that helped me moved towards completing both of those goals, I just couldn’t say no. I didn’t think anyone on this roster was worth that kind of coin.”

Darren McFadden says ouch, man. Now that Carson Palmer’s gone, this means Matt Flynn is in. Reports have already surfaced that Flynn is already addicted to heroin and he’s only been a Raider for about 24 hours. That’s quite a traumatic switch from Seattle to Oakland, so it’s not exactly surprising.

How does Arizona feel about this deal? Cardinals WR Larry Fitzgerald on Carson Palmer becoming a teammate: “I’m already used to chasing down interceptions, so I can live with that. Just stay away from the Arizona State sororstitutes bro. I don’t want to see another QB that ends up in more hot tubs than TDs thrown.”

Do the Palmer/Flynn trades take Arizona and Oakland out of the QB market in the draft? Geno Smith certainly hopes so. Geno on the Flynn and Palmer trades: “I am STOKED. I haven’t slept in weeks over the thought that I might be a Raider. So Oakland let me tell you: START FLYNN. He’s the man. I suck. Really. Don’t take me.”

Ultimately the Raiders spent a 1st and a 2nd round pick to get Carson Palmer from the Bengals initially, and wound up getting 8 wins, 16 losses, tons of interceptions, and $5 in monopoly money back. That’s actually one of the most efficient exchanges for the Raiders in years. Maybe they are turning a corner.

Just win baby.

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