Rays Petition MLB To Move NYY-BOS Series To Ukraine


As Major League Baseball continues to desperately act upon its inferiority complex with the NFL broaden its fan base by pushing the season opening Diamondbacks-Dodgers series to Australia, the Tampa Bay Rays are strongly encouraging the commissioner to take the process a step further. Team president Matthew Silverman is pushing the league to move the first Yankees-Red Sox series to Ukraine.


Kiev statue honors former New York Yankees coach Don Zimmer.

“We wholeheartedly support Major League Baseball’s efforts to expand our fan base across international waters,” Silverman told reporters before a spring training game in Port Charlotte. “We envision no better way than to send the most marketable rivalry in the league to the other side of the globe.”

Some within the Yankees and Red Sox organizations are suspicious of the Rays’ motives, suggesting they are hopeful the teams are caught up in recent Ukrainian violence and the threat of occupation from Russia. Boston President/CEO Larry Lucchino ranted at reporters about the plan: “The Rays know the only way they can get past the Sox is to have us literally eliminated.”

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” said Silverman. “The Russians will love Boston. They have ‘red’ right there in their team name.” And what of the Yankees? “Every protester taking to the streets of Kiev has a better arm than the entire Yankees bullpen. The Russians won’t give them a second though.”

The Rays’ movement has drawn the support of management and fans of all the other 27 MLB teams. Many have even encouraged the same level of media coverage the Yankees-Red Sox series usually get. As one Orioles fan stated: “I hope ESPN, MLB Network and FOX would each send full crews over there to cover these games. Please ensure Harold Reynolds, Chris Berman, Mitch Williams and Joe Morgan make the trip!”

Yankees owner Hal Steinbrenner was defiant in response. “Fine. We’ll go over there and play….and we’ll still draw more fans in a stadium full of rubble than the Rays do in that garbage can they call Tropicana Field.”

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