Switzerland: Not Good At Hockey (GIF)


SWITZERLAND: Strengths – clocks, chocolate, neutrality; Weaknesses: hockey.

The Swiss women’s hockey team opened the Olympic tournament in Sochi with a game against traditional powerhouse Canada. The Canadians put 69 shots on goal to Switzerland’s 14. We have not seen such a wide disparity in shots taken since the FBI raided the Branch Davidian compound. The Land of the Maple Leaf prevailed 5-0, largely due to having a number of breakaway chances on Swiss goaltender and human target Florence Schelling. One of those chances was a result of this failed hot-doggery by the Swiss while on a power play:


Here’s a tip for the Swiss: When your normal passes are rarely accurate, leave the blind behind-the-back passes to the professionals. Oh, and it is a good idea to generally keep a player between an opposing puck-carrier and your goalie.

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