SOURCE: Patriots have Tim Tebow fan arrested

The jersey exchange at Gillette Stadium gave Patriots fans their chance to turn in their Aaron Hernandez jerseys for someone that isn’t potentially facing 50 life sentences. Since everyone already has a Tom Brady jersey, the question became who would they choose now? A receiver? Does anyone know who actually plays WR or TE for this team? A bunch of unknown little white guys, right? They’re like an ivy league basketball team now. Well one person made a shocking request…and paid for it dearly.

A Patriots fan asked to exchange his Aaron Hernandez jersey for a Tim Tebow jersey. Well, according to a source, when he did, the whole place stopped in stunned silence like Tom Brady had gotten seriously injured again. Numerous fans started crying in disbelief. Some screamed for help. The comments from the crowd reportedly varied from “How could someone say something so horrible like that?” to “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore,” to “Screw this, I can’t follow this team if it has fans like that.”

Team employees asked him again if that’s what he wanted. “Yes, I love Tebow,” the fan responded. Security was immediately called. The fan was escorted to a back room where he was informed he was being forced to give up all Patriots memorabilia he owned and that he and his family, friends, colleagues were all banned from Patriots games for life. Patriot employee reportedly said: “We simply can’t allow someone like you to follow this team. The police have been called and are on their way. Hope you have a good lawyer. You’ll need one.”

The fan was arrested, charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. The deadly weapon being Tebow fandom. A statement from the team: “We take something like this very seriously. We simply can’t afford to have someone like this endangering our fans. Luckily 99.99999% of our fans are smart enough to not play with a deadly weapon like Tebow fandom. We knew this might be possible when we signed him, but at least he’ll be off the roster in a few weeks. Wait…we weren’t supposed to announce that. Ignore that.”

Law enforcement sources say the Tebow fan has a “slim to nil” chance of being acquitted on these charges, likely facing a 10 to 20 year sentence, or at least until Tim Tebow’s long away from football (which could be next week, so it may not be so bad). The moral of the story? Don’t ask for Tim Tebow merchandise, even for a friend.  It’s just not going to end well.

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One Comment

1. 

   Lou

   at

   The Pats signing Tebow is the greatest money grab in the decade….Jesus in Red,White, and Blue….almost makes me want to get one.

   Reply