EXCLUSIVE: Pacers coach Frank Vogel admits he’s a Heat fan

Late in overtime of Game 1, Pacers coach Frank Vogel made some questionable decisions. He pulled his C Roy Hibbert and put him on the bench, so that………well no one knows actually. As a result, it took literally 2 seconds for LeBron to drive to the rim and win the game with a layup and continue his “I’m the greatest at everything on earth so bow down to me you peons” campaign. Well, today we found out the reason why Vogel benched Hibbert late in the game, in an exclusive to NOTSC.

It’s probably not even going to be all that surprising to you. Turns out Frank Vogel is a Heat fan. That’s right, the guy that said “they’re the biggest floppers in the NBA” and they’re “just another team,” is actually a FAN of that team. Frank explains how he got here: “David Stern told me earlier this year: just wait, my officials will ensure Jim O’Brien does poorly and gets fired. Then you’ll get the job. Well…he was right, here I am. I probably shouldn’t have been so blatant about it last night though.”

No Frank, you shouldn’t have. It’s pretty obvious when a guy that towers over everyone on the court (Hibbert) isn’t out there. But Frank admits, he tried various ways to avoid reaching this point. “Look, there’s only so many things can do when you play the Hawks to try and sabotage your team. It’s not like they’re good enough to win even when we blatantly point shave. But, I was really optimistic about facing the Knicks. I figured they could do the job. Then J.R. couldn’t keep his dumb ass out of the club.”

Too bad he couldn’t trade for J.R. during the series, that would’ve been a sure fire way to lose. Frank continues, “Even without J.R., I figured Carmelo could do some damage. Then the Knicks bring back Amare for the series. Everything I tried to do, the Knicks were always one step ahead of me. Their sucking power knows no bounds. No matter what, in the end, the Knicks are gonna Knick. So here I am. I probably shouldn’t have admitted this to you, but I figure it’s probably obvious by now.”

Well it wasn’t THAT obvious, most of us thought David Stern just paid him off. We were close. So now that the cat is out of the bag, what will he do? Vogel: “I don’t know. I’ll probably have to call in some of Stern’s goons to help me keep Hibbert out of the game. Hopefully the refs will cooperate as well. What the hell are they doing calling that foul on Wade on the 3? Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Yes, indeed. Also, if you’re surprised David Stern is essentially a Mafia boss, you haven’t been paying attention.

Indiana fans thought they were playing 5 on 8 before the series, now it turns out they’re playing 5 on 9, or 10, or a lot more (depending on how many Stern goons get involved). Good luck Pacers, you’re gonna need it.

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