REPORT: Johnny Manziel questionable vs Vanderbilt due to pool party


Johnny Manziel’s had various injuries this year, but his latest is a real doozy. According to a report, he’s questionable for Texas A&M’s game with Vanderbilt due to an inflamed pool party (yes, a pool can be set on fire…would SharkNado do anything that wasn’t realistic? Come on now. Oh and watch out for that shark falling out of the sky.). He and coach Kevin Sumlin have been “hopeful” all week that he could play, until this pool party offer came along today from the Vanderbilt cheerleaders (yes, they have cheerleaders, they need something to look at besides the football team.).

Now Manziel himself says he’s not sure the pool party will be over by then (and considering it’s Texas, it probably won’t be. Remember EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas, including the amount of douchebaggery.). He probably wants to “sign autographs” for the Vandy cheerleaders all night long #winkwink #nudgenudge. In NOTSC’s opinion, this is a very smart strategy on the part of Vanderbilt. Obviously all the “elite SEC defense” can’t stop Manziel, so why not send the cheerleaders in the night before to “drink soda” and “study” all night?

They could be on to something big here. Having girls have sex give all night “tours” works big on landing recruits already (especially at Oklahoma State) so why not have them play a little pre-game defense too? Talk about evening the playing field. Alabama, Oregon, and Florida State can go get all the blue chip guys while schools like Savannah State can recruit at the playboy mansion. Plus, how hilarious would it be to see an Alabama injury report with 63 guys listed as “Doubtful: exhaustion”? Granted Alabama would probably still beat Savannah State by 90, but still.

Looks like Johnny Manziel really could break some major new ground in the NCAA after all. That Johnny Drunkass ( is a genius. Have fun, Johnny.

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