VIDEO: Braves Burn U.S. Flag, Reignite Dixie Secession Movement


“The South shall rise again!”

The Atlanta Braves have taken the vanguard in what could be the second American Civil War by brazenly setting the United States flag on fire over Turner Field.

(Video via

“We have had enough of being disrespected by the North”, Braves General Manager John Schuerholz announced on a our conference. “Specifically New York City. It was bad enough that the Yankees abducted one of our greatest modern generals, Brian McCann, but the Mets and Bartolo Colon completely running the night honoring Atlanta hero Hank Aaron….there are no more words. We will take back what is ours by going on the offensive with our bats. OK, maybe not BJ Upton’s, but….”


Thankfully, in the grand tradition of General Lee, the Braves tend to choke when it matters most, so it’s unlikely this uprising will truly split the nation. Still, if it means ridding the country of the Braves and the city of Atlanta, it be worth it for our governing bodies to consider their demands.

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