VIDEO: Last Heterosexual Male Figure Skater Retires


It is no wonder that NFL players are concerned about openly gay Michael Sam’s presence in an NFL locker room next season. The gays have finally chased the last remaining heterosexual man from their sport as Russia’s Evgeni Plushenko shockingly announced his retirement during the Sochi Winter Olympics.

Despite the pressure that comes with being a minority and the ridicule that comes from his fellow competitors just for being born different, Plushenko has been highly decorated throughout his career, including a gold medal in Sochi’s team event. All that pales in comparison, however, to his greatest performance – an exhibition (in more ways than one) skated to Tom Jones’ “Sex Bomb”:

Alas, following a back injury prior to beginning his singles program, Plushenko withdrew from the event and promptly announced his retirement at the ripe old age of 31. After all, figure skating is a young man’s game – a young gay man’s game, to be anal precise.

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