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Video: Miguel Cabrera and his barber go crazy over $292 million

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As you can imagine, Miguel Cabrera was quite excited about signing a eleventy billion 292 million dollar extension with the Detroit Tigers. With that money, he can officially buy the Houston Astros about 900 jillion times. So, obviously he was VERY EXCITE *Borat voice* (not about the Astros part).

What is the first thing a person does after signing a $292,000,000 contract? Get a haircut and seven shopping bags full of crack cocaine, apparently.

@miggy2424c Yaaaaaa 292 razones

A video posted by @jordanmvpbarber on

The barber’s like “Yeah…this haircut’s now worth at least a thousand dollar tip. AT LEAST.”

The good news for the Tigers is that, if Cabrera smokes enough crack this weekend, he might get down to 280 pounds in time for opening day. Nonetheless, for more on this, we go to Senior Narcotics Abuse Correspondent Rick James:

cocainesahellofadrug

As if Miguel Cabrera hasn’t received enough good news this week, we have also learned that IMDB users have rated this the funniest Barbershop movie of all time.

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