Video: Randy Johnson fastball + bird = boom


March 24, 2001. A bird woke up that day thinking “today’s going to be a good day.” Maybe eat some worms, crap on a few cars, ask for some crackers, the day had limitless possibilities.

So limitless, that he decided to take in a baseball game featuring then Diamondbacks P Randy Johnson. That was his first mistake. His second mistake was deciding to see up close what batters in the 90’s and 2000’s faced when they stepped to the plate against the Big Unit (settle down Chris Bosh, it doesn’t mean what you think.)

That mistake, flying in front of a Randy Johnson 99 or so mph fastball, was sadly his last mistake ever.

If you somehow haven’t seen it, you can guess how it ended.

(Video via


13 years later and some of his feathers still haven’t landed yet. ¬†Hopefully he’s been rewarded with limitless Ferraris to crap on in bird heaven.


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