Dwyane Wade out with the regular-season-doesn’t-matters


Dwyane Wade sat out his second consecutive game Wednesday against the Magic as he continues to deal with a pesky case of the regular-season-doesn’t-matters. Wade stated after the game that he’s listed as day-to-day and if the playoffs were to begin, he’d be ready to go.

When asked what his ailment was, Wade responded, “I was little tired from watching TV all day.”

The Heat will continue their home and home series with the Magic when they travel to Orlando on Saturday. Wade’s status for that game is still up in the air. “I have a small pimple on my ass. Might play it safe and watch cartoons in my hotel that night.”

When several members of the media questioned Wade’s heart and toughness, Wade reminded everybody that it was only November and that nothing in the NBA matters until the last 2-3 weeks of the season.

“We want to make sure he’s strong and ready for playoff time,” head coach Erik Spoelstra said as he unfurled a large sheet of bubble tape after the game and began gently wrapping it around Wade’s sleeping body. “Can you guys give me a hand with this? Careful not to snap him.”

“He needs his rest,” teammate LeBron James said in Wade’s defense. “The regular season doesn’t start until the Finals this year. For now we’re just experimenting with different lineups and strategies out there. Tonight I tried to shooting using only my belly button.”

Spoelstra seemed at ease with the state of his team’s health. “For me, none of the games matter because I don’t have to do anything ever. I sold all my clipboards on E-bay years ago. I just want the guys to like me.”

Also questionable for Saturday’s game with the Magic: Ray Allen, Chris Andersen, Joel Anthony, Shane Battier, Michael Beasley, Chris Bosh, Mario Chalmers, Norris Cole, Udonis Haslem, James Jones, Rashard Lewis, Roger Mason Jr., Greg Oden, the entire coaching staff and 100% of the fan base.

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